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User Forums \ Dark Side Programming \ War XXIX: Sith wanna-bes not allowed

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darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 10 Sep 2006
18:51 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Lord Mathias was the one who devoured haveacalc's soul. With the energy consumed by this dark act, Lord Mathias grabs LiK's head and squishes it.
TheOnlyJon
Dragoon
avatar
Posted: 10 Sep 2006
18:58 GMT
Total Posts: 96
TheOnlyJon grabs a flashlight and uses his fingers to squish Lord Mathias's head from several feet away.
TheOnlyJon then notes that Anakin used to only be a sith wanna-be, and kicks Lord Mathias's avatar's past out of the thread, and in the resulting chronological, horological and bigwordical confusion Lord Mathias finds himself in Oz and is forced to wear ruby slippers.

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<--! I have no comment at this time -->
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 11 Sep 2006
08:20 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Unfortunately, Lord Mathias finds slippers to be a great weapon, and proceeds to stab TheOnlyJon in the eye through a temporal rift he created.
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 11 Sep 2006
17:15 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
I don't wanna be a sith……yet. *suppressed evil laugh*

Haveacalc donates his wealth to the Council of the Blind and Pluto, then eats a pickle and watches DSP make TheOnlyJon deader than ever. I would have retaliated for the soul-munching, but this is more fun!

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 11 Sep 2006
20:07 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L, being supremely evil and proficient in litigation as well as everything else, sues haveacalc for violating the 8th amendment of the pickle bill of rights, claiming that haveacalc ate the pickle much too fast and uses his sharp front teeth much too much to be respecting the pickle's rights. And seeing as L is the judge, jury, bailiff, jailer, and executioner in this process, he bypasses the trial, skips past the sentencing, and goes straight to the execution. Haveacalc gets devoured by a massive pickle that smells of sulfur and dead rabbits from the planet Gorlock-5.
greenorange
Goliath
Posted: 12 Sep 2006
06:10 GMT
Total Posts: 199
greenorange eats a pie.
TheOnlyJon
Dragoon
avatar
Posted: 12 Sep 2006
08:26 GMT
Total Posts: 96
Unfortunately, pies are on the side of the Muffins, and the pie detonates the explosives it was carrying, resulting in a literal taste explosion.
TheOnlyJon is insured against cross-temporal eye stabbings, and is granted life by his bewildered insurance company.

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<--! I have no comment at this time -->
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 12 Sep 2006
16:45 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc eats the bigger pickle. From the sulfer he extracts sulfuric acid, which he soaks L in.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 12 Sep 2006
19:41 GMT
Total Posts: 542
LiK is put into throes of exstacy by not hav'n his old computa NEmore. he now feel'n barbaric und stuped

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~~~~LiK~~~~
Lunchbox
Carrier
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Posted: 12 Sep 2006
20:40 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L laughs, and pees pure liquid arsenic onto haveacalc.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
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Posted: 13 Sep 2006
18:38 GMT
Total Posts: 542
While L pees on haveacalc, LiK sets the stream on fire. Both of them die from their skin bubbling off their bones while there blood boils to plasma, the fourth stage of matter. and worse yet they smell like pee.

---
~~~~LiK~~~~
threefingeredguy
Ghost
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Posted: 13 Sep 2006
20:55 GMT
Total Posts: 1189
L, wouldn't that hurt your lady part?

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Someone call for an exterminator?
ryantmer
Wraith
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Posted: 13 Sep 2006
20:58 GMT
Total Posts: 692
<<Insert statement regarding deviousness of previous comment>>!
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 14 Sep 2006
04:06 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc takes advantage of the situation by plucking 14 protons from each arsenic atom, getting a good amount of potassium. He gives it all to L and dumps on the water. Kabloosh!

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 14 Sep 2006
08:22 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc summons a gigantic thing to do something.
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 14 Sep 2006
22:35 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L gives Jc's thing a laser and lets it go to work on haveacalc. And, 3fg, I'm sorry if I damamged your delicate female ears with my potty-mouthed talk of arsenic and peeing.
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
17:07 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc, being extremely agile, dodges around and manages to get his iPod engraved with something.

---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
17:40 GMT
Total Posts: 692
ryantmer laughs.

"Haha! iPod..."

/me hopes the Zune will kill the iPod.
TheOnlyJon
Dragoon
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Posted: 15 Sep 2006
17:57 GMT
Total Posts: 96
TheOnlyJon grabs a Zune and goes around stabbing iPods with it, including haveacalc's ipod that was engraved with something.

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<--! I have no comment at this time -->
TheOnlyJon
Dragoon
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
17:58 GMT
Total Posts: 96
TheOnlyJon then proceeds to double post and stabs Jc's gigantic something-doing thing with a Zune, while he's at it.

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<--! I have no comment at this time -->
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
18:08 GMT
Total Posts: 542
LiK impersonates Theonlyjon, hereby posting a triple post. The community is enraged and they put theonlyjon on a stake and burn him.

LiK wounders where Hydralisk fell to.

---
~~~~LiK~~~~
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
20:21 GMT
Total Posts: 692
ryantmer wonders if it's possible to stab somebody with a completely blunt object.

Oh wait, this is a war topic. Gravity and other laws of common sense need not come here.
TheOnlyJon
Dragoon
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
20:58 GMT
Total Posts: 96
TheOnlyJon stabs ryantmer with a muffin.

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<--! I have no comment at this time -->
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
22:47 GMT
Total Posts: 542
ryantmer bleeds orgasmic shades of grey for mentioning the falicle word "commen sence" and his "laws'.

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~~~~LiK~~~~
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 15 Sep 2006
23:12 GMT
Total Posts: 692
Orgasmic shades of grey? O.o

Dunno 'bout you, but I don't find colours that stimulating...

[Edited by ryantmer on 16-Sep-06 08:13]
Lunchbox
Carrier
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Posted: 16 Sep 2006
11:07 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
You would if you saw in UV spectrum like I did.
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 17 Sep 2006
16:13 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc looks away just in time.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 17 Sep 2006
18:51 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Ooooooooooo...
That felt good O.o
TheOnlyJon
Dragoon
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Posted: 17 Sep 2006
19:28 GMT
Total Posts: 96
TheOnlyJon transforms and uses his superhuman strength and agility to change the subject.

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<--! I have no comment at this time -->
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 17 Sep 2006
19:49 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc notes that the topic remains "War XXIX: Sith wanna-bes not allowed" and kills TheOnlyJon for suggesting otherwise.

---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 17 Sep 2006
20:06 GMT
Total Posts: 542
everyone watches as ryantmer dose a provacative interpative dance in UV light, letting everyone see and feel the death of theonlyjon, except LiK, b/c he stabs his own eyes out just in time to save himself.

---
~~~~LiK~~~~
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 18 Sep 2006
07:48 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc does a better dance, and ends up winning a national contest or something. He's put on TV and cooks a squirrel. Then he takes a nap and gets glomped by his fangirls, to which he responds with legal action.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 18 Sep 2006
13:41 GMT
Total Posts: 542
LiK wonders why one would take legal action against girls on top of one's self.

---
~~~~LiK~~~~
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 18 Sep 2006
14:03 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Lord Mathias also wonders... and invites those fangirls to instead jump on him, as Jc apparently doesn't like this.
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 18 Sep 2006
19:34 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Perhaps, by "legal action", Jc meant he's getting like 250 new wives.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 18 Sep 2006
19:49 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc just so happens to have a gf now, and frankly, he gets distracted enough by girls.

lol... though, haveacalc's suggestion was pretty good, though.

Jc counts his current wives and gets about 4.
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 18 Sep 2006
19:54 GMT
Total Posts: 692
According to several people, ryantmer got married 5 days ago. Frankly, he doesn't remember a thing. (After the bachelor party, everything is kind of a blur...)
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 18 Sep 2006
20:05 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
That's because Lord Mathias was pouring booze down ryantmer's throat.
Lunchbox
Carrier
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Posted: 18 Sep 2006
20:42 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
And L's.
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 19 Sep 2006
04:29 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
And then the "stripper" took your kidney and dumped you in antarctica.

[Edited by JcCorp on 19-Sep-06 13:29]
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 19 Sep 2006
06:35 GMT
Total Posts: 542
But it wasnt really antarctica, it was your bathtub full of ice, but you were so messed up and wasted that you didnt realize the difference, so you just splash around in the water singing "weeeeeeee", "WEEEEEEEEEEEE" pretending you were the internet browser IE, mindless and weak, until you bleed to death. Your wife does the standard "cry for one week for every 6 months" and she sobs for your death for a measly 4 hours, then she leaves and finds a new guy, with better kidneys, that wont get stolen. Only real men dont lose their kidneys.

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~~~~LiK~~~~
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 19 Sep 2006
08:52 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
No, no...

Real men drink their livers away and make their lungs dissapear in clouds of smoke. :D

j/k
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 19 Sep 2006
16:01 GMT
Total Posts: 542
hmmm, i thought that was loser men... meh, what do i know.

---
~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 19 Sep 2006
20:56 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc acquires wizardly powers.
"Aha!"
Liebe ist Krieg's lungs disappear in clouds of smoke. Haveacalc reconnects LiK's pulmonary artery to his mouth, and his pulmonary veins to his nostrils.

Not kidding in the least :img20:.

---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Lunchbox
Carrier
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Posted: 19 Sep 2006
21:16 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
You forgot to mention that real men also rip out their own hearts out in the event of cardiac arrest and revive themselves.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 19 Sep 2006
21:45 GMT
Total Posts: 542
ahhh, L, you made me snicker. you win for today.

---
~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 19 Sep 2006
21:49 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
...", thinks LiK as blood pumps out his eyes.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 20 Sep 2006
11:21 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Nah... only Chuck Norris can do that.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 20 Sep 2006
14:17 GMT
Total Posts: 542
/me stabs Haveacalc for a 48th post.. with his own eyes... of blood...

---
~~~~LiK~~~~
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 20 Sep 2006
15:53 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L sets LiK's veins aflame by turning his blood into HCl for saying /me.


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