Author | Comment |
calculatorfreakCG Wraith Posted: 5 Feb 2004 20:27 GMT Total Posts: 739 | Something a friend forwarded me . . .very funny!
Subject: How America Works
THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. _________________________________________________________________ MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome.” Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
Hahah! I love it! It's old stuff-but still the basic idea.
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spiral Wraith Posted: 5 Feb 2004 23:07 GMT Total Posts: 958 | But the metaphorical ants don't have to work hard, and the metaphorical grasshopper isn't necessarily lazy.
The company executive that makes a lot and is taxed a lot, but also cheats all the stockholders would qualify as an ant.
Not very funny either... |
Digital Guardian
Posted: 6 Feb 2004 08:38 GMT Total Posts: 1051 | In the same lines as spiral, I call you a cynic. I mostly agree with you but you take it a tad too far. |
BullFrog Wraith Posted: 6 Feb 2004 16:23 GMT Total Posts: 623 | That would be how the media works and causes others to act.
--- "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." -Franklin D. Roosevelt |
calculatorfreakCG Wraith Posted: 7 Feb 2004 17:07 GMT Total Posts: 739 | Oh, well I thought it was very funny. Actually, I didn't write this. |
Digital Guardian
Posted: 7 Feb 2004 18:44 GMT Total Posts: 1051 | Next time quote and give credit. Have you heard of plagarism?
Anyone see the movie "Wag the Dog"? |
zkostik Carrier
Posted: 7 Feb 2004 18:53 GMT Total Posts: 2486 | Plagiarism D, you missed an "i". Nope, never even heard of such a movie. What's it supposed to be about?
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spiral Wraith Posted: 7 Feb 2004 21:12 GMT Total Posts: 958 | well it is plagiarism, but it is awefully hard to quote and source chain e-mails. |
BullFrog Wraith Posted: 7 Feb 2004 21:32 GMT Total Posts: 623 | No kidding. I myself just delete such things after reading. Occasionally I send them along, but only if I think they're really good.
--- "Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds." -Franklin D. Roosevelt |
Digital Guardian
Posted: 7 Feb 2004 22:57 GMT Total Posts: 1051 | It is depicts government people asking the media to fabricate material in order to sway public pinion in order to get their way. It is a pretty good movie. The general theme is that the media is the real government. You guys know spelling is not my strong point and plus the 'i' has no effect on the 'a' so a phonetic speller, like myself, will likely screw it up. The on time I don't put (sp?) at the end of the word I actually get help. Hm... |
calculatorfreakCG Wraith Posted: 8 Feb 2004 18:32 GMT Total Posts: 739 | Yeah, I love those funny e-mails that I get. I thought this was one of the better ones; my friends do this all the time-don't sweat.
At least we don't pirate music-hate to go off subject, but this topic seems almost done with, so who here does pirate music? I never like to do it, I've done it a few times, and one of my friends does it all the time? I mean, to me, no one knows if you really do, and if everyone who did went to jail that'd be about half of american teens!! So, any opions? |
spiral Wraith Posted: 8 Feb 2004 18:52 GMT Total Posts: 958 | my opinion is that you should ask tha tquestion in a new thread. |
dysfunction Goliath Posted: 9 Feb 2004 09:01 GMT Total Posts: 122 | Hey cg, you seemed uber-patriotic to me, but now you're posting this rather cynical story. Have you realized that America isn't all it's cracked up to be? |
zkostik Carrier
Posted: 9 Feb 2004 09:22 GMT Total Posts: 2486 | Actually dysfunction, calcfreak posted this thread and he's not a part of CG. I myself don't consider myself a patriot but I respect other people's feelings so I won't go explaining what I think about patriotism.
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Digital Guardian
Posted: 9 Feb 2004 13:55 GMT Total Posts: 1051 | Yeah, cf (calcfreak) please start thaat new query in a new thread. Here recycling doesn't matter too much. |
spiral Wraith Posted: 9 Feb 2004 19:43 GMT Total Posts: 958 | patriotism is nice and all, but misguided patriotism/nationalism causes a lot of wars. Also, i think people saying anti-war people aren't patriotic is just stupid. |