| Author | Comment |
Xero Xcape
Marine
Posted: 1 Mar 2006
17:08 GMT
Total Posts: 29 | I'm writing this to explain any abscenses I have had, or will have in the future as to not cause worrk. If anything was to happen to me I have very detailed instructions on how to contact everyone to let them know and take approprate actions.
I (as many of you should know) am very depressed, although I do not always show it, I am sad/depressed 99.9% of the time. In most cases people would get anti-depressants or see a shrink. I chose to reach out to the one community I feel that I belong in, this one. And they helped for the most part, a few more than others, and a few not at all, but as a total they kept me alive for a month and for that I am grateful. But alas I cannot sustain the activity I once could (see, summer of '05 for refrence) and as well, I cannot find the drive to program as much or as fast as I once could, I find myself in the same situation as xlibman, making the same things over and over because I do not know what to make, nor feel like making anything. I will always be active in some way/shape/form but not nearly as much (most of you have notices I'm sure that I do not resopnd as quickly, nor respond with as much as I used to) and I am also sorry to xlibman that I have to go through this at the same time you do, same goes for the entire community, I am truly sorry that I am doing this to you right after xlibman has.
I wouldn't worry about any of my pending projects, as most will be finished sometime, if not as quick as most of you would wish. But I'm sure you can understand my situation. And I am truly sorry, because in my head I have no rightful excuse for this. I can probably guess most (if not all) of you would disagree, but seeing what some of you have gone through, imho, my life has been a breeze, nice, enjoyable even! But it hasn't, in a nice way to put it, my emotions have been ripped to shreds and had the sh*t beat out of them with a mallet.
Even if in the end I do dicide to come back as a full time member of the commnity I do not think I'll have that spark I used to have nor the ability to program what I could. But that is to be expected. I am especially sorry to the newer people that they did not get to know me better, nor the happier me that inhabited the days of old, and I am sorry they have to go through all of this with people leaving. (I'm allowed to feel old in the community, 2.5 or so years is still long)
If I have caused any pain to anyone take this post to mean the best and to try and heal all old wounds, to those I have offended I am sorry in the fullest sense of the words. I am also sorry to anyone I have flamed, or on the offhand chance just plain pissed off. I am sorry to friends, as well as comrades. And most of all I am sorry to kalan_vod, xlibman, Darth Android, DarkAuron, tr1p1ea, and Merthsoft; you guys belived in me the most of the entire community.
I will stick around as long as possible, but for the time being consider me receeding...
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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche. |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 1 Mar 2006
18:42 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | See my post on Maxcoderz. We're always here for you, and we hope you visit often. I'm glad to hear you don't want to give up programming. As long as you have a goal you can work towards, you can keep your mind active and such.
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Someone call for an exterminator? |
zkostik
Carrier
Posted: 1 Mar 2006
20:58 GMT
Total Posts: 2486 | Ahh TFG stole my words.
It's normal for interests to change and I don't blame you for being tired but I think you should try to figure out what makes you depressed as it's bad for you and may take its toll. I'm sure the guys will understand so don't get too upset about it, you did your best and everyone needs a break from time to time. Just remember that we're here so if you need help you know where to find it.
Cheers!
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09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 1 Mar 2006
21:22 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | Ditto. Were I more loquacious right now, I'd echo their sentiments less crudely than just "ditto", but all the same, I do feel the same as Z and TFG do, and I'm sure the same can be said for the entire community. Anytime you need anything man, we're here. Anytime. Feel free to contact me via e-mail or any other way and not just on the forums if you just wanna talk or something. Not to be arrogant or overdomineering or anything, but i'm decent at working out psychological problems (practiced on myself hundreds of times). |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 6 Mar 2006
06:57 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Hang in there, man... you're not the only one going through stuff right now. I feel you. |
Xero Xcape
Marine
Posted: 7 Mar 2006
13:09 GMT
Total Posts: 29 | Well, I'll have you all know I have gotten better (with more help from Darth Android than anything) and, while I am not "better" so to speak, I am. I am however, fine at this moment, I know why too o.- though, so maybe I can keep it going. I however could not hurt myself in conventional ways (kinda low tolerance for pain sometimes) so that's good. I do however thank you all for listening to me and for trying to help. :worship_a:
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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 7 Mar 2006
15:41 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | Any way we can help, just ask. |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 8 Mar 2006
06:44 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | More than happy to. |
