| Author | Comment |
haveacalc
Guardian
Posted: 31 Jul 2006
19:20 GMT
Total Posts: 1111 | The only way to solve all problems! You wouldn't think they listen, but they do.
Haveacalc kicks off the war by eating Hydralisk's arm.
[Edited by haveacalc on 01-Aug-06 04:21]
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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do). |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 31 Jul 2006
19:41 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | Hydralisks arm regrows and the one that haveacalc ate reforms in his stomach and socks him from the inside.
ouch.
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
haveacalc
Guardian
Posted: 31 Jul 2006
20:09 GMT
Total Posts: 1111 | Ah, but haveacalc has no stomach! He keeps the arm, though.
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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do). |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 31 Jul 2006
20:30 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | Um, Hydralisk, there is no such thing as "sipheroth". Sephiroth is the guy from Final Fantasy VII. I know probably a thousand times more about Final Fantasy than you do.
---
Someone call for an exterminator? |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 31 Jul 2006
22:00 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | well excuse my spelling!
~jees
and, nonetheless, the arm haveacalc possesses comes back to life and beats the living snot out of him.
sad really.
and i still hav both my arms...
[Edited by Hydralisk5201 on 01-Aug-06 07:01]
---
Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
Xero Xcape
Marine
Posted: 1 Aug 2006
07:18 GMT
Total Posts: 29 | Keefka kicks your butt... period... c-mon! With the tower, and the doom, and the death!
But atima-weapon kicks more butt... equip that to whatshisface... the king dude, the one that had the castle that could go underground... He was like your 3rd character!
*EDIT* C'mon, XX, you know better than that... and that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!?
[Edited by darksideprogramming on 01-Aug-06 18:37]
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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche. |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 1 Aug 2006
09:40 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Lord Mathias raises an eyebrow over the topic title... but that quickly passes.
Lord Mathias thanks XX for reminding him of the ancient incantation for transmogrification. Lord Mathias recites it and becomes a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Lord Mathias then proceeds to coat all his enemies with a thick layer of marsmallowy goodness, which suffocates them all. |
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
Posted: 1 Aug 2006
11:01 GMT
Total Posts: 542 | LiK was hiding in his Starcraft game, so therefor has no marshmallow on him. He takes everyone that had the stuff on them, gets some large gramcrackers, some hersheys chocolate, and puts them all together. LiK takes DSP, lite him on fire, and roasts his new found glory to melty goodness. And to spite them all, he feeds it to the dog. The dog gets sick, for it seems you all were past your experation date, and were bad. I cry as my dog explodes from your filthy evil.
"i am enigo montoya! prepare to die!"
---
~~~~LiK~~~~ |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 1 Aug 2006
11:32 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | The filthy evil that is Lord Mathias reassimilates himself and prepares for combat.
@LiK: it's "My name is Enigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" |
haveacalc
Guardian
Posted: 1 Aug 2006
15:12 GMT
Total Posts: 1111 | Haveacalc runs down some stairs. When LiK follows, Haveacalc throws a small, pointy dagger at him. Before LiK can go with the plot of the movie, Haveacalc pulls out a rifle and shoots his throat.
---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do). |
Xero Xcape
Marine
Posted: 1 Aug 2006
16:11 GMT
Total Posts: 29 | c-mon! FF6!!! Everyone knows that game!
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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche. |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
05:30 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | @Hydralisk: Music appreciation is crap. Music Theory is far better, because you learn to write your own stuff, plus I got AP credit for it! :D
Anyways, Jc attempts to engage Haveacalc in a battle of wits. He places the two cups, switches them around a bit behind his back. While his adversary is chooing a cup, Jc takes out a flamethrower and burns him to a cruddy little pile of ash. It doesn't matter who's wittier... just who's smarter. ;)
Hydralisk eats himself for some reason. |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
08:10 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | @Jc i didnt want musica ppr
hydralisk ate himself for the strength and is not inside outhis skeleton is on the outside now, as an insect
but 10 ft tall
bwahahhahaaha!!!!!!!!!!
and haveacalc disappears somehow thats to a rip in the time space continuum thanks to him changing the plot of of on e of the greatest movies ever
[Edited by Hydralisk5201 on 02-Aug-06 17:11]
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
12:34 GMT
Total Posts: 542 | LiK loses for getting the quote wrong... and crys.
:prompt victim (prompting hydras name for test)
:repeat "victim"'s head explodes
:then
:he then moves to "victim" left side and taps his rite, and when he looks rite, then left, LiK moves to the rite. when he look rite, LiK moves left.
:end
after some time, the condtion = 1,and hydra dies from the confusion.
LiK finalizes his prgm and submits it to calcgames for a surefire prgm to get rid of someone. He is instantly haild as a genius.
[Edited by Liebe ist Krieg on 02-Aug-06 21:37]
---
~~~~LiK~~~~ |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
14:13 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | too bad hydra never used his head
and lives on as a headless horseman knockoff
and throws his pumpkin bomb at LiK
blowing him to smitherines
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
haveacalc
Guardian
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
15:41 GMT
Total Posts: 1111 | But the town of Smitherines blows back and puts out the candle in Hydralisk's pumpkin-head. Just to be sure, Haveacalc carves a badly-done face in the back of it. He also writes "Elvis Presley was here" in permanent marker.
---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do). |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
16:13 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | Nice save with the "Smitherines", haveacalc. By the way, it's smithereens.
---
Someone call for an exterminator? |
haveacalc
Guardian
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
20:40 GMT
Total Posts: 1111 | No, no, NO! "Smithereens" is just some trash-heap in the middle of nowhere ridden with useless debris. I'm sorry, but I was talking about a completely different place.
Haveacalc acquires a fairly large rocket.
---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do). |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 2 Aug 2006
22:16 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | hydra is still the headless horseman and just replaces my pumpkin head (although i never said i had one)
LiK is dead from the pumpkin bomb
lets leave it at that
and
nice referance to the phantom toolbooth
loose, but still
and now hydra busts out his sword and kills all but the unpresent zedd
who is my ally
---
Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 3 Aug 2006
04:54 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Hydradoodle dies 'cuz he's too much of a noob to survive. |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 3 Aug 2006
07:22 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | D=
you wish Jc
my experiences with calcgames gives me stregnth and an immunity to watever killed me...
watever that was...
Jc's head explodes from the shock of me still being alive
and his legs explode cus i threw pumpkin bombs at them
and then hydra stands over the smitherines that is the CG forum
and laughs an evil laugh
hydralisk then proposes a random ally
woever posts next gets the honor to be my ally
unless he declines then its the next one
and the next
and the next
and so on
---
Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
Xero Xcape
Marine
Posted: 3 Aug 2006
10:36 GMT
Total Posts: 29 | AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
where'd I park my car!!!! HOW THE HELL DID IT END UP ON THE ROOF!??!?!?!?
Okay Jc! How did you get my car on the roof?
*XX throws Jc at DSP
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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche. |
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
Posted: 3 Aug 2006
19:26 GMT
Total Posts: 542 | LiK stabs XX in the back, and takes the 'random ally' status from him.
he then puts DSP, haveacalc, jc, 3fg, lunchbox, and ryantmer's name on a dice, rolls, and puts their name in the Ultimate prgm of DOOM. called the UPOD for short. the short name catches along, and before long, mothers around the country are yelling at their children "OH, dont you MAKE me get the UPOD out! Do you remember last time?!?! I'll make you clean the mess up too, young man!"
as the UPOD reaches the middle east, some programmer hacks my prgm and integrates a massive-arab function, taking out their whole army with one blow. Our soldiers are sent home. LiK's prgm is haild as a liberalistic-conservative salution, and the two wings of the House combine. the positoin of a one man executive branch is destroyed, so one man can nvr be blamed for our problems again. Hillbillies retalliate, and sling their pitchforks in to the populus, killing thosands. the millitary react and take them out in a brutal onslaught. the beings from the boondocks, from cajuns, and from the moutains retalliate at this destructive hypocracy, and ironically die the same way as their friends, falling victim to the selfconscience brutallity that plagued thosands forehand. the US breaks out in a civil war. when people realize that they cant blame the President, for there is none, they look for the next closest scapegoat.
... LiK, watching the mayham... slowly tiptoes backwards... and away...
he then stand behind haveacalc and says "hey! he's over here!", and the rest of the americans find haveacalc and rip him and that wierd-little-worm-hanging-off-of-him apart.
LiK and hydra grab some popcorn and watch what the silly humans decide to do next.
(common, guys. try and top that)
---
~~~~LiK~~~~ |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 3 Aug 2006
19:31 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | YES!
LiK
my ally!
sweetness above all!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive waited for this moment since i was born!!!!!!!!
it is an honor for me
not an honor for you
xD
and about the popcorn
make it kennel corn
P=
mmmmmmm
xD
---
Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 3 Aug 2006
22:17 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Lord Mathias dodges Jc and assists him to his feet.
Lord Mathias steals the UPOD before it reaches the theater and changes each face to LiK. He then throws the die, causing a jihad to be declared on LiK. LiK is torn apart by AK rounds. |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 3 Aug 2006
22:50 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | hydralisk absorbes the bullets (from the first war i joined)
and is now bullet man
hydralisk shoots up all of the jihad and leaves DSP powerless
sad
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 4 Aug 2006
05:56 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Leaving DSP powerless? Highly unlikely. Anyways, Jc doesn't even have to recover, as he is a perpetually powerful being. He grabs a plastic cafeteria fork and proceeds to remove hydralisk's eyes brutally and painfully. He then mashes up the removed eyes and puts them in a potato salad.
Jc then proceeds to place a curse on LiK. He'll soon find out the full effects of said curse... |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 4 Aug 2006
07:10 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | by powerless i meant without jihad minions
and my eyes in the potatoe salad
stupid
cus then you eat them
and guess wat
they werent eyes
so you choke one the poisons that acrylic paint has to offer
while i
an eyeless man
can still see
cus im now... V
(from V for Vandetta if your so clueless)
but i hav no want to die
so i cant die
like in the movie
bwahhahahahhahahahaa
and that curse
...funny cus that required witchcraft
and witchcraft required effort
effort which you lack
so the curse backfires from my only present ally and hits you
so do tell on the effects of this curse
The curse hits Hydralisk like a ton of bricks. He is immediately beheaded by his obnoxious line breaks.
[Edited by JcCorp on 05-Aug-06 00:54]
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
Posted: 4 Aug 2006
09:04 GMT
Total Posts: 542 | when jc rolls the dice with all six sides showing my name... it lands on.... A CORNER. NO NAME WAS PUT IN THE MACHINE!
LiK does make the kernel popcorn, but burns it, on purpose.
he then takes it and shoves it rites on jc's head.
As his skin starts to melt and drip down his chin and neck, the kernel popcorn and kettle fuse to his skull, macking him a dribbling mess of equiplasmic sluge, and a kettle, made specially from lead. LiK and Hydra then kick him in the head from opposite sides, confusing him. to confuss him even more, LiK forgets the dice and puts jc's name in UPOD anyways. if that didnt take him out, the lead poisoning will. Oh, and curses dont effect me, for i am the Lich King.
Jc's curse takes effect anyways. LiK goes into huge convulsions and falls unconscious. When he awakens, he finds that he is nothing but a rotten peach floating in the middle of the pacific ocean.
[Edited by JcCorp on 05-Aug-06 00:48]
---
~~~~LiK~~~~ |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 4 Aug 2006
14:36 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | and
hydralisk adds with his V for Vandetta swords in Jc's head
and then snaps his neck
and then chokes him
and then takes his arm and shoves it up his bum
so hes dead 20x over
no way to escape that eh Lik?Jc's curse takes effect, causing this post to be rendered harmless to the already-almight Jc.
[Edited by JcCorp on 05-Aug-06 00:52]
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 4 Aug 2006
15:48 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Jc does escape it all. How? Simple. Moderator power.
Oh, right, I should probably attack, too. Jc throws a bunch of random number guessing games at his enemies and lays a curse on Hydralisk as well.
[Edited by JcCorp on 05-Aug-06 00:50] |
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
Posted: 5 Aug 2006
07:23 GMT
Total Posts: 542 | LiK laughs at his 'random numbers' scheist and figures it was a simple games that fell out of the hounds of hells' rear ends. LiK smacks JC for using his mod powers to illegaly temper with the lich king and says "NO!" and shakes his finger at him. he then sets him down slowly in the corner and says 'play nice with the kiddies' and i hand you a soda. Early, hydra placed eyedrops in the drink. For those of use who know this formula, the previous lead poisoning JC recieved, and a shot of eyedrops, will ultimatly constrict the blood viens around the heart, giving you the worst heart attack ever to be recorded. you cant do not'n, you ded foo. D*E*D, ded.
Edit by Jc: Okay, first of all, you put the uppercase letter in the name. That's grounds for death for you. Also, you clearly didn't read many of the other posts: Jc is a vampire and has no blood circulating through his body to poison him.
And what the heck? Are you trying to order a MOD around? Jc slaps LiK in the face, knocking off the poor noob's nose.
Oh, yes, and the curse transforms your fingers into tasty waffles.
[Edited by JcCorp on 05-Aug-06 21:44]
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~~~~LiK~~~~ |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 5 Aug 2006
10:58 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | and using your moderator powers just helped my attacks by making them white hot and really compacted
so thats like 1000x worseso now your like 30000x ded
loser
lol
i think its
really annoying to have
line breaks all over
the place
so this post is nullified too
by the way, are you trying to be poetic?
[Edited by JcCorp on 05-Aug-06 21:45]
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
allynfolksjr
Administrator
Posted: 5 Aug 2006
11:31 GMT
Total Posts: 1892 | good thing I have the keg o' doom |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 5 Aug 2006
12:46 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | The noobs can say what they please, but the more that they struggle, the more pain they shall have to endure. Jc casts a protective spell around himself and the other mods/admins to protect them from noobs and continues to lay curses on his opponents.
Jc has his own keg, but it's filled with booze rather than doom. Party over heee-re! |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 5 Aug 2006
20:19 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | except
Jc knows this or should know this is that IM NOT A NOOB ANYMORE
so ya
your STILL dead 200000000 times over
^
Proof he's still a noob #1: Refusal to admit he's a noob over and over again using poor grammar and awful reasoning/grammar/spelling.
[Edited by JcCorp on 06-Aug-06 13:57]
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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
04:58 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Silly noob, wars are for geeks! |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
08:37 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | ZOMG ROFLMAO!
Lord Mathias uses his powers to cause Hydralisk's head to suddenly explode. |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
12:06 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | 3fg puts it in a timewarp so it happens over an over again with no chance of stopping. Hydra is not allowed to post anymore since he is permanently stuck.
---
Someone call for an exterminator? |
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
12:06 GMT
Total Posts: 542 | ok jc, seriouly, you are getting anoying with editing our posts all the time. i respect your power as a mod, but dont edit ever one of our post. that would be the same as some one double posting every time. its very rude. if you want to reply to something i say, then post about it plz.
and if you are a vampire, then you need to drink blood. so when ever you do happen to feast, the lead is there waiting, and poisons your intake. you casnt get around it, its inevitable.
and poor grammer doesnt mean noob status. i have bad grammer cuz 1: as long as i get the point across, thats all that matters. 2:i hate english and thinks its one of the worst languages ever. 3: im an engineer, i aint got no need fur english. im sure hydra can say most of the same thing. And if you were to deny the fact that you are a noob, would you be considerd a noob. there is the falicy in your logic, because you are a hypocrite as-in you wont allow your standards to apply to yourself.
*EDIT* This post pwned by DSP.
[Edited by darksideprogramming on 06-Aug-06 21:51]
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~~~~LiK~~~~ |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
12:52 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Lord Mathias dismisses this use of logic by wielding his boomstick. |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
13:31 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | LiK: I wouldn't edit your posts if you actually knew how to fight in a war. The point isn't to make the most complex win situation... it's to create simple attacks towards the other members that make little-to-no sense. Frankly, having to modify the laws of physics for myself in every single one of my posts in order to counter your attacks is EXTREMELY annoying. (I've been meaning to say this to a LOT of people, so don't think I'm taking it out on just you.)
Also, the "grammar thing" does have some limits... and you're fine. It's when it's bad enough to affect meaning, as you said.
>>And if you were to deny the fact that you are a noob, would you be considerd a noob. there is the falicy in your logic, because you are a hypocrite as-in you wont allow your standards to apply to yourself.<<
If you are called a noob and you fight it to the death, it usually implies noobishness. I'm sorry, I should have been a bit more clear on that. (And yes, those noobs do exist. If you want proof, send me a PM.)
Also, considering the fact that a vampire is already dead, it's highly doubtful that even swallowing a lead brick would kill them.
Jc flings a rabid moose at LiK for being difficult, changes form back into a super-human being (immune to the lead, so he can't get hurt), and begins throwing small rocks at Hydralisk. |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
14:34 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | hydra
is
not
dead
and
is
not
a
noob
and
i
wasnt
thinking
right
just
then
but
my
grammar
is
good
normally
seriously get a grip Jc
hydra morphs into a Grammaton Cleric from equilibrium
tight movie
so basically
the Grammaton Clerics are trained to statistically attack the person who is just about to attack them
leaving that person to recover from that attack they move onto the next and the next and the next
leaving the Grammaton Cleric unscathed
and i hav tight pistols that can be single shot, semi auto, or automatic, and little spikes come out of the bottom of the hilt for some heavy melee attacks.
and since Clerics are so offensivley defensive, ill let you guys make the first move.
---
Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
15:20 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Lord Mathias eats Hydralisk's face. |
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
15:54 GMT
Total Posts: 576 | hydralisk seing this a split second in advance (the defensive thing) flipped over him, grabbed lord mathias' neck, and snapped it in ten different sections
ouch
except that grammaton clerics feel no emotion
thanks to prozium
so basically
no wince here
---
Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you" |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
16:56 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Jc smiles. Equilibrium rocked, most definitely.
Jc silently calls to his buddies beneath the earth's crust. They place massive explosives beneath and around Hydralisk, and wire motion-sensors into the triggers of each one. If Hydralisk so much as moves, he will be blown to bits... warm, salmony bits.
Mmm... salmon. |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 6 Aug 2006
18:36 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Unfortunately, Lord Mathias had his neck replaced with 24k gold after an unfortunate smelting accident and therefore his neck is malleable, i.e. unbreakable.
Lord Mathias slaps hydralisk in the face with a slice of pizza, then proceeds to rip his heart from his chest.
*FATALITY!* |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 7 Aug 2006
04:03 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | *pulls out a present*
*Friendship!* |
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
Posted: 7 Aug 2006
07:08 GMT
Total Posts: 542 | if everyting i attack with makes logical sence, from a non-realistic standpoint ofcourse, and you MUST "modify the laws of physics for [your]self in every single one of [your] posts in order to counter [my] attacks", im not sure, but doesnt that mean, i win? if you deny logic and i follow it, it seems conclusive, does it not.
*Jc isnt listening still, so LiK goes and finds Blade, who in turn kill Jc for even admitting he is a vampire (whether he still is or not, he dont care). Blade never loses, he doesnt die. and if he is mortally wounded and is about to expire, just throw him in a pit of blood, and miraculusly he is a fighting machine. i mean COME ON. Snipes put on, like, 30 pounds of muscle for those movies... give him some credit. if a guys did that, you just cant kill him... he kills you. Blade finds the most gruesome tourture ever, and instills it upon Jc's vampirus corpse.*
LiK then sticks Jc's name in the UPOD after his body is gone, just to see what happens, and there is an ERR:INVALED IDIOT. LiK pouts for he wanted to see if the prgm would collapse on itself and create a revearse black hole. but no. LiK is sad.
but becomes happy when Blade returns with a zombie sandwhich, from which the meat was provided by Jc's corpes, and it seems a wicked twist of irony has struck him when he last realised it.
[Edited by Liebe ist Krieg on 07-Aug-06 16:31]
---
~~~~LiK~~~~ |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 9 Aug 2006
07:47 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Lord Mathias bites Blade in the neck and sucks him dry. |
