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User Forums \ Dark Side Programming \ War, episode IV: A New Lack of Hope

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Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
15:05 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
And the war rages on, or so it seems :)

On a kind of unrelated note, this series of threads is the fastest growing ever and is rivaled in size only by the good old debate threads. Considering the rate at which this is growing, however, I presume it will overtake the debate threads (and not run CG out of server space hopefully :) ) in about a week!
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
15:19 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc nods and agrees. He is also getting sick of his smug own avatar and burns the funny little punk. Now I've gotta find a new one. :)

After recovering from dying several times, he reveals himself to be an exact clone of DSP, except not as dark, and that anything that applies to him applies to Jc as well.

He also recalls a huge boom that zedd heard... too bad he didn't seem to notice that that was half of his head. He'll feel that in about a day. :)

Next, Jc hits on Z's assassin girl avatar. She responds by chopping off his head.

Hm... that didn't work out as planned. Jc puts his head back on.

Jc also notices Lunchbox's breaking of the alliance. He procedes to run him through a giant paper shredder.

Then, Jc remembers that none of what anyone else says really matters, because as a "good" version of DSP, he's right no matter what.
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
15:39 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L re-programs the paper shredder to vacuum Jc up instead. Then he amasses an army of Bobs and sends them to maraud the maker.
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
15:43 GMT
Total Posts: 428
Hey! at least i didn't die as much as u did!

---
Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
15:45 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
Technically, you died more than he did. While Jc may have lost his head entirely, he wquickly put it back in its place. you, on the other hand, permanently (well, not so much since I and DSP are around :) ) lost 1/2 your head. But no more! L restores Zedd's head to it's normal state
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
15:49 GMT
Total Posts: 428
thanx!
and now zedd shall blow both of your heads off.
BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
Hey Jc u know what's weird? u told me 2 stop making fun of your avatar. so i did........and everyone else takes over.......
that's sad!

---
Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
16:28 GMT
Total Posts: 939
*waves hand* Where's my Naquadah dammit?!?! :img12:

[Edited by Andy on 23-Mar-05 02:17]
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
16:43 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
*cough* Check the html checkbox andy! *cough* . And just FYI, my head is unblowupable
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
16:51 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Hey, even I was ready for a new one, zedd, and frankly, you just did it to be annoying and because you don't seem to like me much. Which is sad, because I really don't hate you, you actually remind me of my little brother in his bad moods. So I just assume you are in a bad mood when you post that stuff.

And just for that comment, Jc permanently burns the word "STOOPID" on zedd's forehead with a blowtorch.

Fortunately, Bob is a moron and can't figure out how to hurt Jc. Instead, he shoves a grenade in his ear and pulls the pin, causing a hilarious explosion. Lunchbox is then kicked in the head.

Jc also takes another shot at Z's avatar. Doesn't work. Picks arm off of floor and hits Andy with it.

Then, Jc clones himself and sets his clone on fire. Hehe, now I know why people like hurting me... its fun!
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
18:00 GMT
Total Posts: 428
Jc don't get me wrong.
i like u just fine. (when you're cooked) JK. <<I know why people like hurting me... its fun!>> thanx 4 proving my point!
you're just so easy to take a shot at.and u take things too seriously when it comes to me joking around.
<<you just did it to be annoying>> well DUH!
and i'm not in a bad mood......this is war.
.............
As Jc tries to lite up the blow torch, it blowsup in his face causing permanent facial damage. L comes over to see if he is alright. But just as Jc turns to look at him. L faints to Jc's face
Zedd places mines all over the field surrounding L, Jc, DSP, XX, Andy, and Z. Zedd throws a gernade over one of the mines causing achain reaction explosions getting near the the group every time.
Zedd decides to take a break from war and watch some TV.

---
Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
18:57 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L laughs at his clone blowing up and nearly dies of happiness seeing all the others torched. Saves Z's avatar girl and hires her to be his personal masseuse. Ahhhhhhhhhh, relaxation time in a hot tub w/ my masseuse. Check y'all later :img13: :yum: .
threefingeredguy
Ghost
avatar
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
19:21 GMT
Total Posts: 1189
3fg let out some nasty gas. zedd dies again. everyone else loses 1 leg and one arm. on their remaining limbs, the only hve 3 fingers/toes left so as to even the playing field. 3fg giggles and lights his fart. the resulting explosion singes his neighbors house. oh and utterly destroys 3fgs. but right before he dies he telefrags dsp. *STING* -15 Hit Point!!!

---
Someone call for an exterminator?
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
21:59 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L takes out an awp and does a one-handed head shot on DSP while also doing a front flip and a 360&deg; simultaneously. Then slits DSP's throat with his citadel of pain MTG card. L, it seems, is not without a sense of irony (<- Morpheus).
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
22:41 GMT
Total Posts: 939
*jumps around* I'm still waiting on my Naquadah!!!!! Just give me some and I'll shut up about it. :rolleyes_a:
Morgan
Ultralisk
Posted: 22 Mar 2005
23:50 GMT
Total Posts: 321
Andy do you watch Stargate? I love it and can't get enough! Its weird that Wikpedia has an entry for an element that exists only in a sci-fi show!
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
06:31 GMT
Total Posts: 939
Wikipedia has entries for all sorts of Stargate stuff. And yes, I watch Stargate. I'm in the process of watching ALL of the SG-1 episodes, in order. I'm halfway through season 4 now.

Andy throws a pie in Morgan's face. (Sorry, but you opened yourself up to attack). :)
Morgan
Ultralisk
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
08:50 GMT
Total Posts: 321
/me Ducks and the pie hits JC :-)

Hey that will take a long time! I sort of did that this last summer, except I skipped 2 or 3 of the episodes that I have either seen more than 20 times or that I just don't like. And it was only through season 6. Season 7 hadn't come out yet.

Quick question, when you got season 7 did it come with the extra Stargate Atlantis promotional DVD? Mine did, but I have seen season 7 for sale in stores and those don't have the DVD.
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
09:18 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L summons 12 tons of each of the 3 types of Naquadah as described by wikipedia in a desperate attempt to shut Andy up!

Happy now :) ?
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
10:17 GMT
Total Posts: 939
Morgan: I, umm, downloaded them. :rolleyes_a: ALL of them. I started watching them in mid-Janurary and watch at varying rates; lately, it's been quite fast. Been burning a DVD with 5 of them (so I can watch on my TV) every other day or so lately. edit: Oh ya, I know how the season finales this week are going to turn out. :rolleyes_a:

Lunchbox: :img05: You walked right into my trap. Andy outfits some Sidewinder missles with Naquahdriah-enhaced warheads and launches them at DSP, L, Jc, Z, M, TFG, and Zedd. Andy then procedes to getting out of the way of the impending explosions.

[Edited by Andy on 23-Mar-05 22:06]
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
13:04 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc licks the pie off of his face. He then throws a pie filled with mutant, flesh-eating peaches at the newly encountered M.

>>i like u just fine. (when you're cooked)<<

Yeah, that crispy batter tastes great.

Jc is a shapeshifter, so no marks are permanent on him.

Jc picks up the Sidewinder missle with his amazing reflexes, looks it over, takes a huge bite out of it, chews it and swallows, and then remembered the other explosions.

Most of his hair is temporarily burnt off. Oh well, shapeshift it back.

Finally, Jc makes a funny face at zedd. He gets angry and attempts to throw a grenade at him. However, Superman comes down and eats the grenade and zedd.
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
15:26 GMT
Total Posts: 428
unfortunately 4 superman, he swallowed a laser cannon. zedd takes it and blows the cr*p out of superman's stomach. unfortunately for zedd supermans was flying by the time he blew a hole. zedd falls on top of Andy and his demented kangaroo. they were both going out on a date at that time. superman's intestines cames out along w/ his waste products. they all fell on Jc's face when he looked up. it was unfortuane that superman was suffering from diarrea.
3FG was also happening to be talking to Jc. He got the worsed of the junk


[Edited by zedd on 24-Mar-05 00:28]

---
Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
15:42 GMT
Total Posts: 939
HEY! DON'T DISS ZIPPY!!!!! :img07: :fail:

Zippy stuffs Zed into his pouch, then sews it shut.
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
16:13 GMT
Total Posts: 428
Yes! zed is zedd's evil clone that can blow up

---
Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
16:37 GMT
Total Posts: 939
Meh. You know what I meant.
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
17:20 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L busts out the radiation cannon and shoots everyone including Zippy with it. You all melt and die. And on the subject of the sidewinder missiles, I use the force to redirect them at Z's avatar girl as she is not looking then heroicly save her to win over her heart forever.
threefingeredguy
Ghost
avatar
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
17:28 GMT
Total Posts: 1189
everyone forgot about about hurting 3fg so he climbed the mountain and found a redeemer. cackling like a baby banshee, he fires it into Andy, M, L, Zedd, DSP, and JC. They explode into bits of flesh and urine. 3fg dances around chanting songs of worship to Macintosh computers. He slips on a rock, falls into nuclear waste and turns into an unkillable, checkerboard, mutant zombie. He proceeds to test out his invinciblity and it turns out, shooting himself with purple airsoft gun at midnight is his only weakness. he recovers in zombie hospital, usa.

---
Someone call for an exterminator?
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
18:03 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc has been exploded and pooped on. Just great.

In return, he sets zedd on fire and has 3FG pee it out just before he burns to death. Lying on the ground covered in infected burn wounds, zedd wishes he was dead, but Jc has too much heart to do it.

Lunchbox: My avatar is hotter, and she's mine! :lmao_a: There's no love smilie...

Where's DSP? Just because he isn't around, Jc puts on his helmet and does an awful imitation of him.
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
18:32 GMT
Total Posts: 939
He's probably off doing USMC stuff somewhere.
korkow
Ultralisk
Posted: 23 Mar 2005
18:35 GMT
Total Posts: 465
Freddiespaghettie loses the moment he walks in. (What ever happend to him anyways?)
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
05:17 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
He just disappeared.

Or did he... hehehe!
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
07:45 GMT
Total Posts: 428
Oh but that was really zed who was burnt by the fire and peed on by 3fg. zedd rips a loud and deadly one causing the fire to get bigger and swallow 3fg and Jc. as Jc is shapeshifting, zed puts a gernade in him. zedd gives the finger to 3fg.
zedd proposes an alliance w/ Korkow
zedd is waiting for an answer.
meanwhile, zed is hitting on avatargirl. since eveyone wants her, zedd makes a clone for eveyone that didn't blow him up before.... that's zedd and zed......and Korkow if he joins the alliance.
zedd is also working on how to eliminate eveyone..that's either make a virus or destroy all possible ways in which u can enter the combat zone. MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


[Edited by zedd on 24-Mar-05 16:47]

---
Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
14:12 GMT
Total Posts: 29
XX is back... Un able to obtain BB... He grabbed Hitler instaed. This ignites the WHOLE calcgames community (This is why I wanted a list... :) ), and ALL are fair game. XX also aids K by giving him a presumeably normal MTG card...

XX also hosts a gameshow... You Suck!... on FOX, DSP, Jc, and Andy watch while he decapitates people like Alex, and Y.

XX ALSO decides to steal Andy's ...uhh... metal because he got off topic. :)

---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
14:18 GMT
Total Posts: 939
Andy detonates the very small amount of C4 he placed on the Naquadah, blowing up half the planet in the process. XX, DSP, L, M, Jc, Z, Zedd, Zed, Zippy, Avatar Girl, Funky Dwarf, Jc's new avatar, Garfield, 3FG, his dog, and Andy are now all dead.
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
14:22 GMT
Total Posts: 29
BUT alas XX had traveled to the future, AFTER the Arnolds got the cash, and was cloned 9.999999999E99 times... WHAT NOW?!?!?!

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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
15:17 GMT
Total Posts: 939
Andy dials up P3X-451, whose nearby black hole slows time down to a slow crawl. This gives Andy (wearing an anti-gravity/time dilation belt) time to escape from all of XX's clones.

[Edited by Andy on 25-Mar-05 00:18]
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
15:19 GMT
Total Posts: 29
But Jc is prone to clonage, and fails to catch me (me's?) and gets his neck sawed off... and his legs decapitated.

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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:13 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Wow, that post made no sense. :)

Uh, my avatar's name is Shir, I guess. I already had it for a while, you can see an awesome full sized pic in my forum.

Anyways...

Jc is absolutely sick of getting mutilated. He takes the grenade that zedd stuck in him (because SOMEONE forgot to pull the pin) and threw it at a zombie, because anyone else would just reflect it or something. He then sneezes on all of the other contenders and gives them very bad colds. :P

As everyone is sneezing, Jc offers them poison tissues. Everyone but Jc, Shir, and Z's avatar. Yay, I got two ladies now! :)
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:15 GMT
Total Posts: 29
BUT WAIT!!!

13 of the XX clones survived

5 of them go by "Captian Conquistidor"
the other 8 go by "Mustachio"

---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:20 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Lol, I made a sentence fragment. I meant, "Everyone but Jc, Shir, and Z's avatar die."

Jc offers XX's remaining clones an alliance. Why, I dunno. And by the way, I've seen a pic of you, and you don't have a moustache.
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:22 GMT
Total Posts: 29
That was on sunday... I shave on sunday... today is thursday...


MUSTACHIO!!!!

XX beats Jc over the head with DSP and Korkow...


---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:27 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc counters by whacking XX over the head with Z and B's empty shell.
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:29 GMT
Total Posts: 29
But Jc hits an XX clone... the end is near! for the clone wars WILL begin...

---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:32 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc doesn't like war... he turns all of the clones into ice cream sandwiches.
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:33 GMT
Total Posts: 29
XX eats all the sandwiches... and gets gas... BAD gas

---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:33 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc gets out the air freshener... eww...
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:34 GMT
Total Posts: 29
XX gets out... uhh... A-HA

GRANDMA'S FUN DENTURE SET!!!

and we ALL play

---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:36 GMT
Total Posts: 428
zed grabs all of the clones and shoves them into an oversized microwave. Zedd remembers that the pin wasn't pulled. so he forces zed to cook Jc instead.
the clone wars has already been started.

---
Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:37 GMT
Total Posts: 29
XX was accedentally put into the "nukerave 2000" and had his chainmail hoodie on, the microwave explodes sending shards everywhere!

---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:38 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Uh... ew...
Xero Xcape
Marine
avatar
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:40 GMT
Total Posts: 29
XX finds a time loop!!! and travels through it... he goes 2 mins into the past

---
BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche.


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