| Author | Comment |
Xero Xcape
Marine
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
16:41 GMT
Total Posts: 29 | new thread
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BASIC flames are for n00bs, you don't want to be a n00b do you? | My other calc is a Porsche. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
17:28 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | Dang, I was gone for 1 and 1/2 days and I missed most of a thread. Oh well, I re-assume (not that I ever lost it) my rightful position as overlord and master of all matter, anti-matter, and everything in between. BTW, episode V of Star Wars is "The Empire Strikes Back", despite the fact that it was made 2nd. |
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
18:29 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | The new one is revenge of the sith
Zedd creates a time loop on his calc (recently been lost) goes into the future. Zedd and Zed will return in about 1 day. If by then there is no response by Korkow, Zedd will take it as an act of war. even though there is already war. Zedd will take many of XX's clones as hosts for newly formed clones. Zed will rigg up L's box w/ a detonator. He will steal the food inside while he's at it.
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
18:36 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | Fool, there is no food there, just antimatter. Mwahahahahahah! Zedd opens the box and lets off a blast equivalent to that of a 1500 meegaton nuclear bomb, liquidating the entire continent. L splits his sides laughing, literally. Z's avatar seews him back together. |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
19:01 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | 3fg shapeshifts into a tree. and while the others take a relaxing nap under his leafy green bows, he turn into a 30 foot grasshopper and eats them whole. he then poops them out. strangely enough, half the poop is sent back to the beginning of time and starts the universe. whoa, a thought like that could break your brain. the other half forms into a GameStop. 3fg the grasshopper lifts up his leg like a dog and pees on it.
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Someone call for an exterminator? |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 24 Mar 2005
21:51 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | L turns into a Chlorofluorocarbon molecule and single-handedly devours all the ozone in the atmosphere, which causes UV rays to utterly destroy 3fg in both grasshopper and tree form. |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
03:37 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Jc repairs the ozone, as he finds it to be "wicked sweet."
Then, he gives L a noogie so hard that his brain becomes permanently damaged. He can no longer do much of anything. 3FG's grasshopper self cannot survive the boot that crashes down on it. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
11:38 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | L transforms into a cyanide ion, duplicates himself, and launches himself into Jc's throat. Jc chokes and dies. L wins again. Game Over. Please insert 1 credit (4 quarters). |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
13:15 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Jc inserts $2000 and pretty much destroys the competition with secret codes for invincibility, all weapons, and Big Head mode. |
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
14:00 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | well L laughed at zedd for no good reason for it was zed who was blown up. zedd makes another clone called zede. zede shapeshifts and turns into a dog. zede poops in l's box and on 3FG who was a tree. the poop is radioactive. Korkow didn't answer. therefore gets blown up. Zedd doesn't know how. u can make it up
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
14:05 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Using a trash compactor, Jc compresses zedd, zed, and zede into zedzeddzede. Unfortunately, as one person, they don't know how to move at all. Jc takes advantage of this and sets up a circus around him to make cash. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
15:50 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | L destroys Zedd for trying to defile his earthly incarnation and puts the tri-body on a sub sandwich for a delicious snack :) mmmmm. |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
16:49 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Wow, I was gone for three days, and it took up almost two threads.
DSP returns from his vacation, and slaughters everyone with a yo-yo. |
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
16:55 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | Unfortunately for Jc, zedzeddzede doesn't exist because L blew the cr*p out of zed. the crowd thinks the circus is about Jc and his tremendously low IQ. Jc says "look at these three idiots" the crowd says "look at that idiot" Jc says "Yes!" The crowd laughs and throws sh*t at him.
Meanwhile zede is working on a device that allows zedd and himself to say very little to prove our point. sort of like DSP- it's called Digital Self-explanatory Program. zedd likes to call it DSP. It also allows for the holder to use mind control. Unfortunately it only works when DSP isn't here.
L is also very foolish. zede kicks the frekkin' coinbox and inserts a push button detonator. Jc comes over and puts in a coin. he triggered an explosion. Boom!
L is like "HOLY Cr*p! Ilost my controller." Jc goes "I guess I lost.""*stupid laughter*
Zedd creates a safety bubble which protects him from all undesirable verbal and pyro abuse.
EDIT: holy cr*p. Zede created DSP while DSP returned and now it is useless. That's totally unrealistic
[Edited by zedd on 26-Mar-05 01:57]
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
17:02 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | DSP laughas at zedd's misfortune, then slices his head off with his dual-bladed lightsaber.
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zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
17:03 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | Zede asks DSP "How can a lightsaber have blades?"
while DSP ponders Zedd hires his ninja avatar to slice DSP in half.
EDIT- zedd asks if u like his new avatar.
[Edited by zedd on 26-Mar-05 02:09]
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
17:42 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | "It's pretty nice" says L as he slaps DSP's yo-yo away. |
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 25 Mar 2005
23:01 GMT
Total Posts: 939 | Andy tells zedd "it's cool" while snatching DSP's yo-yo, then proceedes to walk the dog and go around the world. |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 26 Mar 2005
03:44 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Jc has to agree on its coolness, but that doesn't seem to stop him from cutting zedd up into little pieces and serving him up fried at a chinese restaurant. |
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 26 Mar 2005
07:06 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | zedd requests a fake hibachi restaurant.
His chinese allies take him and sees what u have done. they serve u and the customers don'tcare because the chef made a huge fire in front of them.
Zede says to Andy..."See Ya later"
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 26 Mar 2005
13:36 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | My clone orders me and eats me, combining us back into one Jc.
Then, he uses hypnosis to make zedd want to punch himself in the face. He does... over and over again. In fact, his whole head implodes. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 26 Mar 2005
17:01 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | L reverses the explosion while simultaneously turning zedd's skin into arsenic-laced ninja stars. Zedd and Jc die, but Jc's death is more painful than Zedd's. |
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 26 Mar 2005
17:14 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | now that zedd has died, Zede creates a new and improved zedd.(triple oxymoron) :lol_a:
Zedd is back and back w/ a vengence.
:monkey:
Zedd proceeds to use DSP.-> L repeatedly stabs himself. Jc eatshimself. He now understands why zedd said "I like u just fine when u're cooked"
[Edited by zedd on 27-Mar-05 03:56]
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
12:20 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | :sunglasses: L would never stab himself without good reason, as you all must know. He actually casted a pain reflection spell on himself that channels all the bodily harm caused to him to Zedd (the new one) instead. L then puts venomous, blood-sucking leeches and fire ants all over his body and laughs his @$$ off :lmao_a: as zedd suffers. |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
12:32 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Ha! I got the more painful death... er... darn.
Jc somehow reconfigures himself and calls on an old buddy to help: Samus Aran. She launches super missles at zedd, who is currently being devoured by metroids. He is a shriveled, dead, and burnt lump on the ground. After freezing Lunchbox with the ice beam, she places a deadly power bomb inside him, so when he unfreezes, he'll explode in a large... explosion. Then, she falls in love with DSP because of their common interest in cool looking mechanical suits and exploding things. They live happily ever after.
There. Some nice things can come out of war after all.
Then Jc starts nibbling on his own arm. I sure am tasty... |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
14:48 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | L was laughing so hard that Samus' ice beam missed him, relfected off the conveniently placed mirror behind L, and froze Jc nibbling his arm instead. |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
15:06 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Mmm... now I taste like an ice cream sandwich.
Jc watches inside his ice cube as the power bomb inside L explodes, leaving only scattered atoms of his former body. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
15:21 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | Oh yes, I forgot about the power bomb, let's see now...Ah yes! L magically extracts the power bomb from himself, turns it into a cute little hedgehog, and sticks it on Korkow's face, just cause he hasn't posted in the war for a while |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
17:13 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | 3fg puts 100 rings on the ground, ripe for Lunchbox the hedgehog to use in his battle against that dr roboto guy. when L touches the rings, 5000000000 volts run through his body and he becomes a black, twisted twig-like scrap of flesh. jc pees into his own mouth and gets his head stuck in a toilet. he drowns in some one elses feces. zedd the original dies of something for some reason and this causes all his clones to evaporate in a fine mist of lemonade and rum. 3fg buys a corvette and picks up some chicks, who are very nice to him :img13: . lol, not like that, you perv.
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Someone call for an exterminator? |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
19:18 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | DSP points out Darth Maul, who he hired to assassinate zedd. He then reclaims his yo-yo from Andy, then performs the Confederate Flag. Upon completion, he whips the yo-yo at Andy's head, decapitating him.
DSP then forces Jc to eat his own hand, then splatter L with his acidic blood.
DSP aims an AT4 at 3fg's corvette, destroying it and it's sole occupant, since DSP first uses his force powers to move the girls into his bedroom :img13:
Since DSP also noticed that korkow has not posted for a while, he turns him into a kow (lol), then cooks him and uses him to feed the Ethiopians, as DSP also has a humane side (just not towards any of his assailants, who attack in futility, as DSP is immortal). |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
19:57 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | 3fg wonders what happens if you throw egg salad at DSP's lightsaber. nothing. absolutely nothing.
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Someone call for an exterminator? |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
19:58 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | That is correct, nothing, except incite the wrath of DSP.
DSP picks up the egg salad and launches it up 3fg's nose, killing him instantly. |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
20:07 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | well if 3fg had known it was that powerful of an egg salad, he would have hooked it up to oh nevermind. he eats it. he enjoys its flavor and texture.
3fg then shoves dsp into the total perspective vortex. since 3fg is the most important thing in the universe, dsp cant handle the vortex and loses his mind. 3fg finds it and holds it ransom for a computer that works.
the other people die too, somehow. yeah that'll do.
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Someone call for an exterminator? |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 27 Mar 2005
20:42 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | Except that I don't die. By the laws of nature, I exist no matter what. Therefore, I assume the shape of a mace can and spray part of myself in DSP's eyes. I counter Jc's acidic blood by throwing baking soda at it and channeling the resulting CO2 gas into 3fg's lungs causing him to suffocate. Then I turn DsP's lightsaber into a pushpop just for kicks. Tasty green apple... :) |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
04:17 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Yum! Pushpop! Jc licks it, only to have his tongue burn off.
After a hasty recovery and a brand new tongue, Jc steals DSP's helmet and feeds it to a goat.
>>>jc pees into his own mouth and gets his head stuck in a toilet. he drowns in some one elses feces.<<<
My, that's quite gross. :puke_a: 3FG is forced to go sit in the corner with a bar of soap in his mouth. Now, think about what you've done.
[Edited by JcCorp on 28-Mar-05 14:17] |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
15:01 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | However, 3fg forgot (or possibly didn't read) that DSP is the master of the universe, therefore making HIM the most important sentient being. DSP walks out of the total perspective vortex unscathed (again, immortal), then shoves 3fg in. 3fg's mind immediately rushes screaming from his body, turning into a Lost Soul, which DSP kills by using the BFG9000.
DSP uses his control of fire to launch a fireball at the mace can-shaped L, exploding him due to the tremendous heat.
DSP then turns the pushpop back into his lightsaber, then fixes Jc's tongue and offers him an alliance. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
16:40 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | L yawns and deflects the fireball with a blue elemental blast spell.
L taps a button on his watch and summons his pet hedgehog at once. The hedgehog uses its cuteness to distract the others while L rips the C out of the calcgames.org logo and proceeds to beat each person to death with it. L remembers that DSP can't be distracted by cute and cuddly things like the others so he puts a sign up that says, "Free lightsaber mods - Today Only!" to lure DSP into his "pit full of things that are better than DSP". Includes in this pit are Muffins, a TI-86, green lightsabers, a copy of H2G2, and L himself. DSP dies of a severe inferiority complex |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
18:58 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | 3fg steals the copy of h2g2, learns what was so funny about frogs and laughs himself to death. damn did that backfire.
he comes back to life as a headphone. he curses this poor reincarnation until lunchbox puts it on to listen to his favortie cd "Whale Mating Extravaganza". He then lethally shocks lunchbox's brain, resulting in 3fg being able to take over L's body and assets. he uses L's vast personal fortune to bribe the referee. the referee declares 3fg the winner and he goes to heaven and chills with God, Buddha, Jesus, and SpongeBob.
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Someone call for an exterminator? |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
19:44 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | DSP eats the muffins, stomps the 86 to pieces, places H2G2 in his pocket for future reading, and uses the green lightsabers to slice L to tiny bits.
3fg does not realize that the referee is employed by DSP and is as unbribable as DSP is immortal. The referee declares that 3fg has broken the rules set by DSP in his ultimate wisdom, and summons DSP to punish 3fg. DSP chops off one of his fingers, thus making him 2fg. |
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
19:48 GMT
Total Posts: 939 | Andy pulls up the console then types in "bind mouse1 kill"... And clicks the left mouse button every round right after spawning, saving you guys the trouble of killing him. |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
19:51 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Ahem, Andy. Forget who's immortal? Oh, yeah... that's me.
DSP teleports himself to Andy's "secret" hiding place, unplugs the mouse, and bludgeons him with it.
[Edited by darksideprogramming on 29-Mar-05 05:52] |
Andy
Administrator
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
19:54 GMT
Total Posts: 939 | What he said before he changed it:
Ahem, Andy. Forget who's immortal? Oh, yeah... that's me.
DSP teleports himself to Andy's "secret" hiding place, unplugs the mouse, and strangles him with it.
My response:
Sorry, wireless mouse with a stub receiver. :P
quit deleting it... let's not forget who the admin is :P |
darksideprogramming
Guardian
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
19:56 GMT
Total Posts: 1005 | Fine, Andy... be that way. You'll just die again:
DSP clicks the delete button to delete Andy's post, but somehow it deletes Andy instead. |
threefingeredguy
Ghost
Posted: 28 Mar 2005
21:15 GMT
Total Posts: 1189 | 3fg ruins the topic by posting the 43rd post. we were at the meaning of life for awhile. 3fg can respawn anything except the two fngers he was missing in the first place. he does so.
he takes andy's wireless mouse, cracks it open, adds a few transformers and then truns it back on and points it at the others. the beam of infrared or w/e it uses causes the others to slowly develop cancer. they all die after a few more years of futile chemotherapy, except lunchbox cause he helps me out a lot.
3fg rents a beach house and lives to be 142. he dies of being to cool.
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Someone call for an exterminator? |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 29 Mar 2005
04:06 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | "God, Buddha, Jesus, and SpongeBob"... Simpsons fan, eh? lol
Jc accepts the alliance and reminds DSP that he already repaired his tongue, but 2 is better.
Jc, who doesn't age because he is immortal and has the only cure for cancer in the world, finds a very old 3FG about to die. He thinks for a bit on the best way to put his old friend out of misery. He decides the best action is to put him in a food processor.
Who wants a 3 Fingered Smoothie?
And L, for leaving Jc out of that pit, he throws L into a pit of things better than him. I won't explain the entire list, but dung beetles are present. |
Lunchbox
Carrier
Posted: 29 Mar 2005
08:54 GMT
Total Posts: 2007 | DSP forgot that the 86 is immortal as well and so powerful that it has been re-programmed to be an exact replica of the comps they use in the matrix. DSP, 3fg, Jc, Andy, and everyone else besides L are sucked into it while L kicks that really wierd guy that looks like colonel sanders out of his architect's chair. L also types: bind * immortality_on to andy's console, therefore making him immortal just for the sake of annoying him. |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 29 Mar 2005
12:21 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | Fun. A matrix-style computer... Good thing Jc has the computer game!
Jc uses glitches to escape the game and get everyone else stuck inside walls and inside crappy vehichles. |
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 29 Mar 2005
13:47 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | zedd is amazed at how much he has missed in 1 day. all of the shots taken at him were useless because he was halfway around the world playing Battle Front w/ his friend for 6 straight hours. zedd used a glitch b4 Jc..he knows that....and beat Lv2 in 5 seconds. zedd has never had a comeback that allowed all others the be negated.
zedd creates a hollowgram in order to see what's going on in the war w/out acually being there! he is taking a break from war.
instead, zede, zed, zded, zdde(clones) are created once again!
zedd teleports w/ 3FG and the hook ups don't realize it. DSP blew up nthe wrong corvette.
[Edited by zedd on 29-Mar-05 23:49]
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 29 Mar 2005
14:12 GMT
Total Posts:
Edit | All this time, Zedd never noticed the time bomb crazy-glued to his back set to go off... now.
A janitor watches him explode, grabs his mop, sighs, and begins cleaning up the charred mess. He is put into a trash compactor and compressed into a tiny little cube. The cube is then fed to a monkey at the zoo. |
zedd
Ultralisk
Posted: 29 Mar 2005
15:38 GMT
Total Posts: 428 | It seems to zedd that u have missed one key factor in his post.... all that "happened" b4 is negated...... including that bomb crazy glued to his back therefore making <<A janitor watches him explode, grabs his mop, sighs, and begins cleaning up the charred mess. He is put into a trash compactor and compressed into a tiny little cube. The cube is then fed to a monkey at the zoo.>> not possible. zedd, zede zed zded zdde all point and laugh.
And since DSP is Jc's alliance......zedd uses Jc's extra tongue to slap DSP like crazy!.......Then zedd proposes an alliance w/ 3FG.
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Na + H2O = Keanu Reeves........WOW |
