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User Forums \ Dark Side Programming \ War XXVII: Cubed numbers rock my socks

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darksideprogramming
Guardian
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
12:18 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Lord Mathias starts this topic by smacking haveacalc in the face with a tritium-soaked sponge.
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
12:43 GMT
Total Posts: 576
Hydra points and laughs at haveacalc
then realizes his own falters and points and laughs at himself
the confusing act hurts everyone's heads but hydras allies

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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you"
Lunchbox
Carrier
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
12:48 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L pelts hydra with a super muffin. He dies.
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
13:47 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
What have I ever done to you, DSP? Oh, well.

Haveacalc launches a fruitless counterattack consisting of vegetables (haha! It was a joke!).

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Zachary940
Wraith
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
18:07 GMT
Total Posts: 714
Zach laughs ant L's muffens and dumps a bunch of old disgusting tapioca pudding on hydra.

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It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
20:59 GMT
Total Posts: 542
LiK sicks Bill Cosby on all you and you die from the sheer annoyment.

and BTW, at the begining of that WoSC post, i specifically said it was from a Blizzard site, not my own. at the end of it, i also said it was posted on April 1st

common people... 1+1=.... there ya go... good boy...

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
21:14 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
You're like zedd in many bad ways.

Haveacalc spears LiK through the head for being stupid and for thinking that people actually read such long posts, most of which are unoriginal.

Haveacalc spears LiK again for forgetting so much capitalization in the post before this.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
21:29 GMT
Total Posts: 542
i didnt mean for anyone to actually read it throughly, and if you read anypart of it, the first line should have been the first part you shoulda read, and the very last line. those are the most important lines, and those are the most read lines by lazy people, thats y i put them there. and i only capitalize when i deem it nessecary. you simple radish, spears are for kids. i never forget simple gramer, i chose not to use it to show my contemptment.

i give Bill a pudding and he starts to go into overdrive.

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
21:36 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Fool!

Haveacalc thrusts a bomb down LiK's throat.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
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Posted: 17 Aug 2006
23:16 GMT
Total Posts: 542
Lik spits the bomb into the lake. a fairy pops up and asks me if it was a gold or a silver bomb. i say neither, its more like a brownish color, and she congrats me by giving me a larger bomb bag. i then take the bomb bag and tie it tight around haveacalcs neck and lite the fuses. all 40 bombs go off. the fairy looks at me in amazment and says something to the effect of 'wait, your not the hero' b4 i cut her head off for doubting my integrity. but all it did was make 2 fairies, so i use a net and put them in a bottle, so i can devour their souls later on for nurishment. mmhhhhh fairy muffins....

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~~~~LiK~~~~
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 18 Aug 2006
04:07 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Lord Mathias calls EOD, who confiscates the bombs before they are tied around haveacalc's neck. Lord Mathias then riddles LiK's body with 7.62 millimeter rounds fired from a 240G.
Hydralisk5201
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 18 Aug 2006
07:47 GMT
Total Posts: 576
hydra laughs at the calunary attempts to kill him and eats through the super muffin and pukes out the tapioca.
nasty stuff
he then summons undecisive bill cosby from "house of cosbys" and stick pudding AND jello in front of him
the next hour is filled with bill's indecisive speech which rings through all but hydra's allys heads and kills you all

[Edited by Hydralisk5201 on 18-Aug-06 21:43]

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Flintlock Durden says "The things you eat end up eating you"
Lunchbox
Carrier
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Posted: 18 Aug 2006
18:45 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L eats muffins.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
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Posted: 18 Aug 2006
22:24 GMT
Total Posts: 542
DSP thinks LiK is dead, and turns his back. but the fairy that LiK trapd early comes outta the bottle and revies him. he then stabs DSP in the back with the Ragnorok. Speil friertig

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~~~~LiK~~~~
JcCorp
Probe
Posted: 19 Aug 2006
03:21 GMT
Total Posts:

Edit
Jc comes back and eat's LiK's other fairy. Mmm... who knew that a tiny lady with wings tasted so good? Jc runs to the fountain and comes back with a bottle crammed with 17 of 'em for later.

And just so he actually attacks, Jc says "Your mom!" to LiK and "Honk Honk!" to haveacalc.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 19 Aug 2006
13:45 GMT
Total Posts: 542
LiK says the only thing that is acceptable for that response:

"no... YOUR mom!"

he then returns to the pond... but... the fairys are gone... Jc made them extinct... what kinda world are we comming to... we kill for prize and live for valor.

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~~~~LiK~~~~
ryantmer
Wraith
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Posted: 19 Aug 2006
23:43 GMT
Total Posts: 692
ryantmer returns from vacation.

"Hello everybody," says he.

He is then riddled with bullets, or attacked by a fairy soaked in tapioca pudding or whatever.

The point is, im patiently awaiting my fate. In the meantime, ill be at starbucks getting high on caffeine. (which is especially ironic a) because there is no starbucks where i live and b) because the last cup of coffee i drank made me go to sleep within 20 minutes, causing the starbucks staff to ask me to leave the premises.)
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 20 Aug 2006
13:37 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Jc was talking to Havecalc just as the latter was driving past in a semi. Haveacalc honks the horn, delivers the load, and runs over ryantmer.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
ryantmer
Wraith
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Posted: 21 Aug 2006
00:07 GMT
Total Posts: 692
Ta-dah!
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 21 Aug 2006
20:37 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
It's ok. You survived, I think.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
ryantmer
Wraith
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Posted: 21 Aug 2006
23:31 GMT
Total Posts: 692
ryantmer declares himself dead, and the official representative of said majority group. (The dead ARE a majority, just to point that out, unlike short basketball players, homosexuals and the french.)

He then introduces the new slogan "We demand to be taken seriously". And you'll do it, too... oh, yes, you will take us seriously.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 21 Aug 2006
23:58 GMT
Total Posts: 542
hmm, are there more dean bodies in the world or live ones... that is a frightening thought, for if someone did know how to make the dead rise... it would be interesting. LiK disconected the brake wires in haveacalcs truck. after running ryantmer over, he tries to stop and turn around to see his kill, but is unsuccessful, makes a dime point turn, and the semi does a barrel roll into the lake, and explodes. the fairy muffins come out and play on him... wow... its 1:58 in the morning... i need sleep...

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~~~~LiK~~~~
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 23 Aug 2006
10:26 GMT
Total Posts: 692
You also appear to need a sedative.

*hand LiK the caffeine pills*

No, wait, that's not right...
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 23 Aug 2006
10:46 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Lord Mathias steals the caffeine pills and chases them with alcohol.

*super booze powers*

Lord Mathias transforms into Drunken Master and karates everyone to death (except Jc and L, of course).
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 23 Aug 2006
11:18 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L reanimates the corpses and enslaves them to do his bidding for the rest of eternity.
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 24 Aug 2006
05:21 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc runs over the ryantmer-zombie with his feet.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
darksideprogramming
Guardian
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Posted: 24 Aug 2006
06:06 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Lord Mathias curbstomps haveacalcs zombified face. Discolored flesh and brains splatter everywhere.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
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Posted: 24 Aug 2006
18:56 GMT
Total Posts: 542
*uh... uh oh.. curb check!*

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 24 Aug 2006
22:22 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc is strewn about the ground.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 25 Aug 2006
13:40 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L reminds his zombie minions that they are, in fact, zombies, and therefore have neither soul nor free will. You will, therfore, obey L without question.
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 25 Aug 2006
13:57 GMT
Total Posts: 692
ryantmer, being the local zombie representative, reminds L that although zombies may be loyal, they are incredibly stupid, as Doom has taught us. He illustrates this fact with the following quote, recorded while ryantmer was taking minutes at the battle.

"Could you repeat that please, I got everything up to 'reminds'".

ryantmer then questions why the hell he's taking minutes at a bloodbath, but then remembers the whole loyalty and conformity thing. What are you running, Lunchbox, a communism?
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 25 Aug 2006
14:37 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc accidentally steps on a lightning bolt and lives again. He has fun spearing the zombie army afterwards, though.

"It's just like NOT spearing zombies, only in reverse!"

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 25 Aug 2006
19:04 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
L burns Haveacalc with his oxyhydrogen torch after saturating haveacalc in jet fuel. L then puts his ashes in an urn and dropkicks it to pluto, which is no longer considered a planet, but merely a "dwarf planet" trapped in orbit.

Edit: It's a dwarf planet, not an asteroid, my mistake

[Edited by Lunchbox on 27-Aug-06 02:54]
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 25 Aug 2006
23:06 GMT
Total Posts: 542
well not an astroid... but a "dwarf planet". and btw, pluto will ALWAYS be a planet. they cant change that. some dumb scientists think they can change what we think. it sounds like 1984 all over again. ha... i know a book... im amazing.

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 26 Aug 2006
13:25 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
You're right. I mean, they're the same idiots who think evolution is real. Everyone knows the Earth is only some thousand years old....and flat to boot. Just for the record (and not everyone knows this), but airplanes don't really fly: that would be impossible. Thousands of ants support them with transparent rods.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
TheOnlyJon
Dragoon
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Posted: 26 Aug 2006
19:22 GMT
Total Posts: 96
This world only exists because the muffins wish it to be so.

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<--! I have no comment at this time -->
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 26 Aug 2006
22:31 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
The difference between you and me is that I was kidding.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Lunchbox
Carrier
avatar
Posted: 26 Aug 2006
23:34 GMT
Total Posts: 2007
Only about the ants and transparent rods part. Airplanes actually travel underground but give the illusion of flying, its subways that really fly.
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 27 Aug 2006
21:40 GMT
Total Posts: 542
and lightbulbs suck dark, not spit light. light is the absence of dark.

and the earth is more than a thousand years old, but evolution isnt tru, cuz then there would be more than simple humans on this earth. the meer chance than only the end result of an evoled species survived is sheer gulabillity. y dont we see the chain links between chimps and humans? you cant just simply see the end and the begining of something, there must be a middle. and the world is flat... where do you think elvis went to... Vegas?

and blackholes dont suck you in, you suck the blackhole closer to you. but only americans, other countries have to work at it.

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 27 Aug 2006
23:56 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc makes exactly the 20,000th download on "Arcade Mario"! He then proceeds to throw small rocks at LiK for trying to be profound and failing.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 28 Aug 2006
10:26 GMT
Total Posts: 542
Lik takes those small rocks and shoves them down haveacalc's throat, making him choke literally on his on words.

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~~~~LiK~~~~
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 29 Aug 2006
07:20 GMT
Total Posts: 692
ryantmer bumps the topic with the 41st post. Yay! 41!
darksideprogramming
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 29 Aug 2006
07:28 GMT
Total Posts: 1005
Lord Mathias plan has come to fruition. He has lain in wait until the 41st post has been made, then pounces upon the 42nd.

*grabs the 42nd post*

You are all doomed.

*hiss click*

Lord Mathias sics an infinite amount of shakespeare-writing monkeys upon the battlefield. All present experience massive brain failures due to incessant chattering.

In the meantime, Lord Mathias, L, and Jc have taken refuge in a quiet mountain town, where they pass their time finding new ways to kill a 4th grade boy wearing an orange parka.

[Edited by darksideprogramming on 30-Aug-06 15:13]
ryantmer
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 29 Aug 2006
10:17 GMT
Total Posts: 692
zOMG! Kenny! NOOOO!
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
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Posted: 29 Aug 2006
18:09 GMT
Total Posts: 542
and LiK wonders what a "41st pist" is, and where can he get one... unless its a new past-tense of piss, then Lik doesnt want it.

*EDIT* Sheesh... it's just a typo lol

[Edited by darksideprogramming on 30-Aug-06 15:13]

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
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Posted: 2 Sep 2006
14:21 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc just finished building a city on Pluto.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 3 Sep 2006
08:09 GMT
Total Posts: 542
and LiK was his contractor, making millions.
......................3
.....................333
....................33333
...................3333333
..................330000033
.................33330003333
................3333330333333
...............333333333333333


[Edited by Liebe ist Krieg on 03-Sep-06 17:13]

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 3 Sep 2006
08:58 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Haveacalc reveals that each million-dollar bill made was just a counterfeit, printed by LiK himself. Pluto, not really being a planet, transforms into a big robot (with a city still somewhere on it). Haveacalc uses it to blow up everything.

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-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).
Liebe ist Krieg
Wraith
avatar
Posted: 3 Sep 2006
18:26 GMT
Total Posts: 542
COUNTERFEIT?!?! thats an insult to my intergrity.

so, does this prove that ninjas... or pirates are better?

Edit by 3fg: Sorry, we don't allow embeded media, especially youtube.

[Edited by threefingeredguy on 04-Sep-06 19:29]

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~~~~LiK~~~~
haveacalc
Guardian
avatar
Posted: 4 Sep 2006
07:06 GMT
Total Posts: 1111
Don't do that.

Suddenly, Haveacalc appears and attacks with a flying scissors kick, just for the heck of it! It worked too well and LiK lost his legs.

---
-quoted directly from most movies that don't exist (and some that do).


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